I wish that spiritual growth wasn’t so hard. Lately, I’ve been confronted with how far I have to go. It seems like my shortcomings are all I can see.
I’ve had times of feeling that way that came from an unhealthy place of shame and believing lies that tell me I’m not good enough.
This has not been that.
Layers Upon Layers
This has been more like God gently peeling back the layers and showing me where He wants to bring healing and redemption in my life. There are no quick fixes here; we’re going deep down to the roots. I’m seeing the thing under the thing, the driving motivation behind my weak areas.
It’s a good kind of hard.
Because this is the only way to grow. What remains hidden will never be healed, and we can safely bring ALL of us into the presence of Jesus. We’ll face those uncomfortable truths together, and he’ll remind me that he is with me.
Even when I feel hopeless, he tells me I’m still ok…it will all be ok. That doesn’t mean it will be easy, but even though it might feel like everything is shattering, he is holding me together.
Fix It (Now), Jesus
We tend to want instant healing. As soon as we see the problem, we want to fix it right away, but that’s not how it works. Oh, how I wish it did. This is a process, and we will fail and fall time and time again. But over time, we will see a slow and steady growth where we recognize our patterns sooner and we repent faster.
Awareness is key. That’s where it starts, but it’s only the beginning.
This will require something of us, but it’s not about simply trying harder. It’s ultimately about surrender, letting go of our way and our desire to be comfortable. It’s trusting that Jesus will lead us where we need to go, if we will only listen to his voice that beckons us forward.
Don’t Run Away
When we begin to see things in ourselves that we wish we could un-see, those places where we fall short and don’t measure up to who we thought we were, it’s tempting to shut down. To avoid looking at the truth. We try to distract ourselves and we become numb to the pain that is trying to lead us towards change and transformation.
But if we’ll just STAY IN IT, if we won’t run, if we’ll face the reality of who we are, Jesus will meet us there. He will walk with us through that dark place as it begins to be illuminated with light. We’ll move from despair to hope as we see that it won’t always be this way, and that change is possible.
But we have to stay in the tension and discomfort long enough to find healing. Otherwise, our brokenness is not healed, but buried. And when it’s buried and kept in the dark, we might feel relief for a while, but it will only grow larger. Until one day, we may have no choice but to face it, because it has consumed us.
Spiritual growth is not easy. But it’s the best kind of hard, because it leads to an awakened soul and a heart that’s alive. Stay in it. Don’t run. Bring all of you into the presence of Jesus. Your heart is safe with him.